So Friday the 22nd day of february was my birthday and I had an awesome time alone, Never felt so good about myself like I did on the first day of my new year…I had enough time to chill with myself, pray for myself and talk to myself: Twas so much fun I tell you, believe me, Never had that much fun on my birthday in my over 2 decades of existence, and believe me, I have had fun over the years…Allow me to indulge you briefly if you please, might be a long read though.
I was awake leading to my birthday from about 11pm, had a peachy kinda day, where I had a presentation somewhere to pitch my brand to some potential investors, educating them about my diverse perspective on approaching life and how I would love for much more people to plough my path of reasoning and think outside the box in doing good basically. On the D-day, 12am, calmly just paused and said a prayer for myself and my future, played around with edits for a little on my system and drifted off to sleep, was a strange one as I didn’t have any morning calls wishing me happy birthday and all unlike other years, I just jejely comported my emotions and slept like a baby, was up by 5am as usual, checked one and twos and my expectancy for the day, then planned my day, was a work free one cause of elections the next day, called a client who I was to take pictures and make a small skit for, met up with him and his team and finalized, Finished early and got home and started replying all my well-wishers ; basically. It was a good day for me.
I should have posted this yesterday as a Monday Motivation post even with the extra inspiration I got from my mum and her friend of over 50 years, but my spirit still felt like the message won’t be complete that I should wait a day, which I obliged to as I woke up this morning and It suddenly struck me why, Today would have been his birthday, I thank God I got to know ChukwuNanu Ejim, I pray he continues to rest in peace at the feet of the lord, Amen…Hence my sphere of talk would be centred on RELATIONSHIPS, basically FRIENDSHIPS, Would be brief as much as I can and I pray you get one or two things, It might just come in handy for you in your journey through life.
It’s Sad to see how some of us have become just social media friends, and ignoring that when the term was coined, there was no element of Facebook or WhatsApp embedded in it. We have totally placed social media as top priority for being friends with people in this age, and it’s quite heart-breaking. Gone are the days we valued phone calls and text messages and basically going out to hang out with our friends and family and having a good time; This days, what we use to supplement that is simply ‘’Writing on walls’’ and ‘’Uploading statuses’’ to show how relevant people are to us…Isn’t this worrisome?, Are we still humans or we have resolved to being tools in the hands of our creation, Sighs. I won’t even try to deny the fact that I am also a culprit, cause I know there are people I know and who I see as my friends and some acquaintances but who we don’t talk or even check on each other, only when we are celebrating milestones and other activities, which basically boils down to social media hinting us about them…Hey I am not saying I don’t support technological advancements, but must it replace the little humanity we have left?
I learnt from my birthday some days ago that people deem it fit to reach out based on personal motives and preferences, there is a natural ‘’IGNORE’’ button that we have at our disposal, in which we unleash at will to whomever we deem fit. On an average I usually get about 200 status views on WhatsApp for instance, that day wasn’t an exception. On a norm is it not safe to say about 200 people would wish me Happy Birthday ?, only about 40 did, through calls and texts and using my picture on statuses and all…Hey, if I say e no pain me na lie I dey lie, It did, cause I put myself in such position in which if I view your status and I understand I need to react, I usually always do, but in some cases I ignore too, So the truth of the matter is I was actually indifferent about it all and won’t hold it against anybody and return the favour, I would still react to people’s activities and wish them well even if they forgot to do same for me. This was the major reason why I didn’t post any ghen ghen picture anywhere showing off that it was my birthday. Was I thankful it was my birthday, Yes I was, Did I show off and rub it in everyone’s face?, No I didn’t, I won over social media in my opinion, as I didn’t allow it dictate my state of mind to seek validation and relevance from people who might not even care about me but are just in my circle to monitor my moves and laugh at me when I fall and other weird reasons to name a few.
My stance is that why is social media the go to standard for self-worth and growth?, Must we show off to be considered relevant ?, Do people really care about you or they are too busy doing other things and observing you while not playing any part in your life ?, Where would this OYO and basically (Oju Aiye attitude) take us to ?.If you are on this table like I am occasionally, don’t you think we need to re-evaluate our feelings genes and recalibrate it to accommodate a little dose of love ?, sighs, God help us all In Jesus name, Amen.
My mum had been with us in Lagos for close to two months, and was set to go back this week, which I took her to see one of her best-friends of over 50 years so she could spend time with her. Getting there I was so amazed at the show of love and affection on display, they hugged and literally almost kissed in my mind’s eye, was so touching. I asked directly how they had managed to stay cool over the years, without mincing words, my mum’s friend Mrs Dora Udobang said, Its patience my dear, we don’t have wahala and we learn to respect our differences and just enjoy life, either together or separately (and she dropped the MIC)…I stayed for a few minutes and watched them catch up on old times, And I asked myself, How many genuine friendships would I say I would have by the time I get to their Age ?, How many would you ?
About 2 years ago I lost a good friend, Nanu is his name (No typo), dude was one of the few good and real ones, not perfect yes, but if I was to say anything about him, He had a good heart, Always there to lend a helping hand, was relentless in his pursuits and obligations and is without doubt, one of the best humans I have had the privilege to have known. I Can practically go on about him and how amazing he was, but it would divert the trail of the message I am trying to pass across, In Summary, CHUKWUNANU EJIM was a blessing, I’m sorry I didn’t come out and tell the world how amazing you were at your service of songs, I practically would have broken down in tears which I promised myself I won’t do for now, here’s me wishing you HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Have a swell time with the angels and play your heart out like you used to when you were here, I miss you man.
If you got bored reading the many many stories above, no problem, but please open your mind to catch one or two things I am about to say in summary. First is, Nobody owes you anything in form of affections, they don’t have to explain to you their feelings and how they act to you when it comes to well wishing. You should not cloud your reasoning with thoughts of They don’t care and are just forming busy and monitoring my moves. Have you considered the fact that they might actually be busy and not have time, or basically ‘’Anti-Social’’, Yes they exist, If you have the time to be online 24/7 on all the social media platforms, doesn’t mean they do. And also if you’re spending that much time and not making money from it, I think you need to re-align your priorities (would shake this table another day). For reals though, People actually use social media as a getaway from their reality and deal with the little and sometimes major traces of depression they pass through on a low, hence why they just log on and just view statuses, like pictures, watch funny videos so they can laugh a little, and basically be someone-else and not worry about their daily stress and lifestyle and so on. Judging people based on personal conviction is ignorance and is usually a wrong move, cause its always biased. More reason why you have to communicate with people and reach out occasionally to know the reason why they act the way they do, believe me, the response you get might shock you.
Secondly, you can’t be friends with everyone, let’s say the truth, you can be acquaintances with everyone, but not friends as that takes extra. People are in your life for a purpose, either as friends or acquaintances, you should learn to understand that you might see someone as a friend, but he/she does not see you in that light, they might just want something from you. It takes God’s wisdom to identify the real friends assigned to your life, and I beseech you, when you get your real friends that God has placed in your path, learn to respect and treasure them, they usually are the thin thread that helps hold your life together when you go through storms and the likes. Learnt this principle from my mum and her friend, both are popular gingos individually, but they learnt from a young age that their purpose and heart desires were similar, so they ventured into life’s unknown together holding hands, and it’s amazing to see how far they have come and would still go. How did they do it you ask ?, Not getting pissed cause one of them didn’t wish the other happy birthday on her birthday, By not causing a tantrum when the other doesn’t call, text or chat them up every single day, by basically forgiving and understanding Godly virtues of peace and patience, dear reader, that’s all it takes, it’s not rocket science. Social media relationships can’t last, as it majorly seeks unnecessary approval from the wrong ones who care less about you, and are literally weathering the storm till you can be beneficial to them, believe me, I know.
And lastly, doesn’t matter if you are friends with people for a week or a month or year, and then there’s a friction that makes ya’ll drift apart, just make sure you leave a good legacy in their lives before you leave, and if it was bad, make sure you apologize with all sincerity and seek forgiveness, this life is too short to hold grudges with people over irrelevant matters, lest you forget, we won’t live forever, and we would be judged when the time comes based on our walk with our creator and how we treated his creation…My friend Nanu left a good legacy worth emulating, and I can say he’s one of the few I would never forget in this lifetime. He taught me how to be there for people whenever they needed me irrespective of the fact that they had not been there for a long time, Caring a little is not hard, when you learn to take live easy and forgive easily, everything would fall in place naturally. GOD HELP US, AMEN.